SAHM vs Working Mum

I originally wrote this post after going back to work after maternity leave with Charlie. Working nearly full time before going on maternity leave with Oscar and now working part time in the evenings, and owning a small business I have a real sense for both working mum and SAHM. I wanted to update it and write about my experiences as both, the pros the cons and what I think is the 'perfect' balance for me.

When I was on maternity leave with Charlie even though I loved spending my days with him a little part of me was looking forward to heading back in to the working world. Going back at work for 8 months with some weeks full time and others part time and it gave me an experience of the difference. I took a longer maternity leave with Oscar and I had no urge, want or desire to go back to work. I did go back to work in new job where I work two evenings a week, this means that I only miss their bedtime routine two nights and the rest of my time is spent with them all day every day. I've also opened an online shop which I work on from home around the boys in my free time.

SAHM vs Working Mum

Being at home with the boys is where I am me, I love looking after them, spending my days surrounded by them. They are the most important things in my life that I have to look after and I love looking doing just that. I like being in charge of their routine, what they eats, what they play with, how they are spoken to and taught. And that for me is what I wanted when I became a parent, I wanted to actively raise my children.

I found working full time really hard, for the main part I was working towards a promotion and felt that I couldn't turn down extra hours. I would work five days a week, Monday to Friday, and lost that precious time with my son where we had our days just me and him before Oscar arrived. I was terrified I would miss out on big milestones and dreaded going to work and leaving him. I lost out on watching him grow for those months when work was so intense and it is a time I will never get back. Even now with them both being a little bit older I couldn't imagine not spending my days with them watching them grow up together. Whenever they are at nursery I miss them like mad and wonder what they are doing, what they are learning and who they are playing with. My mornings with them cuddled on the sofa are my favourite moments of the day.

However, I don't want to feel lost in the cycle of feed, clean, nap repeat. I like being able to talk to Ben and others about things going on in my life that isn't revolved around the boys. Being at work helps my anxiety in a huge way, I am pushed in to an environment where I have to talk to people and it works wonders. Working also helps me provide for my family, I'm able to put my own money in to the pot and it makes me feel more at ease about the money that I am spending even if it is on more treats for the boys. For all these reasons being at work benefits me really well.

Some people don't have the choice as to whether they are a SAHP or whether they are a Working Parent, and for those people my heart really does go out to them.
For me the perfect balance is working a day/night or two a week. That way my boys have a different scenery other than my face where they get to spend time with their Dad one on one. I then get time away from the day to day running of the house and get time to do something other than change nappies and wipe noses.
I'm extremely lucky that right now in life this works for our family, especially with the help of my online shop bringing in an extra income. I work my business around the boys in my free time there are times I have to sit out of fun games and trips to finish an order, but the majority of the time I'm sat right there witnessing it all, and being in the comfort of my own home, with all of my boys is where I want to be even if I do have a hook in my hand.
I'm currently in training to qualify for my dream career, and by the time I finish the boys will be of school age and I can move in to that career full time without worrying about missing key parts of their lives and concentrate more on me and my career without feeling so guilty. Working full time will help us experience a better financial state of living and we will be able to afford more of the luxuries in life and start saving for a house.

I can only speak for myself and my opinions on the benefits of working or staying at home to be a full time parent to your child, other people have different opinions and want/need other things for their family and everyone is well within their right to do that. But for me I am definitely much happier more of a SAHM than a Working Mum. #mummyandsontime all day!

Are you a SAHM or a Working Mum and how do you find your experience? Let me know in the comments or follow me over on the links below.

Love Ellie x


  1. I'm a single mum to five kids and I gave up working after my third child. I love being at home and I have a great relationship with all of my kids. I think the only way I would have missed working is if I had a job I really liked - Never had a job I liked!


Post a Comment

I would love to hear from you guys on what you thought of this post. I read and reply to every comment and would love to take a look at your blog too (if you have one) so make sure you leave a link too!!