Our relationship as parents.

Hey everybody!

Coming from a broken home I knew that when I agreed to marry Ben in 2012 he was the one person I wanted to spend my whole life with. I believe a lot of people in todays generation go in and out of marriage as easy as it is to change your relationship status on Facebook and when children are involved its heart breaking to see and no matter what age the child is they will be affected in some way.

My parents divorced when I was 9 and its majorly shaped the person I've become today including how my relationship is with Ben and how our family will grow. I never want to put my children through what myself and my sisters went through nor would I like to put myself or Ben in that situation. For me, Ben is my best friend before being my fiancĂ© and that I think is why we work so well and is something I want our children to grow up seeing.

Becoming a parent is one of the hardest strains that can be put on any relationship and therefore we have talked about what we can do to ensure we get through this huge change as easily as we can. I thought I would let you in on what we have done since little man was born and how I think its helped. In no way do I want to come across as a relationship expert, this is just what works for me and Ben.

#1 Time for ourselves as a couple.
We have always said that our relationship is the most important thing. And everybody knows a relationship needs work. We don't want becoming parents to take over this and so we ensure that at least once a week we have some time to ourselves without Charlie. I know its hard to leave your newborn but if you have a support system like ours it makes it a little easier. It doesn't matter what you do in that time alone we have been for dinner, taken Pepper for a walk, gone home for a nap and even spent time just the two of us tidying the house. It all helps keep your relationship fresh.

#2 Time for yourself.
I think that to be the best possible version of yourself you need time to spend doing something you like to do. Everyone loves a little bit of alone time and I think with a little human around that its even more important. Your going through a massive transition and may be struggling to come to terms with the new you. Having some time to yourself doing something normal can do you the world of good and put you in a better mood to spend with your partner and babies.

#3 Put yourself in their shoes.
I will put my hands up now and admit that part of me resents Ben for getting to leave the house for 8 hours a day even though its to work. No matter how many times he says he's going to work all I see is that he gets to step away from the responsibility of looking after Charlie. And no matter how many times I tell him how hard it is to look after him all day he sees me getting to be home all day spending time with Charlie. We obviously understand that its not the case and put ourselves in the other persons shoes. Ben said something the other night that really made sense. "Even though we are going through the same thing we're not. Your getting used to being a parent alone in the day and I am getting used to being a parent when I'm not at work with you around." So when I'm having a bad day, have sick down my top and Ben walks in all jolly I take 5 minutes to think that he too could of had a bad day just in a different way.

#4 Compromise.
Just as we all have household chores we prefer there are now also baby duties that we like to carry out more than others. We compromise on these jobs just like we do our household chores. By doing this we are that little bit more happier and work much better as a team which is great for our relationship.

These are just some things we are making sure we are doing to make sure we are keeping our relationship on track. If you have any tips on how to keep your relationship going strong please let me know!

Love to all,